Nanny podcast season 2 episode 6 “Nanny as educator”


Welcome to this week’s episode of The Nanny Podcast, my name is Hanna Schaer from Riviera Nannies and I am your host. I am so happy you are here.


Today we are going to talk about the nanny as educator. I think that when a lot of families think about hiring a nanny or even hire a nanny they think about it as someone who is going to look after their kids and keep them safe. But you and I know that there are benefits way beyond keeping safe and looking after when it comes to what a nanny can do for your family and your child’s education.


As a nanny you have a huge responsibility, not only to keep your kids safe, but to set a good example and emotionally nurture the kids. And to teach them. We know that kids do what we do, not what we say, so setting a good example in your behavior is so important. That’s also why parents who are hiring a nanny should look for how a nanny carries herself, how she communicates and how she interacts, that is what will imprint on your kids if they spend a lot of time together.


Your nanny can teach manners, they can teach your kids how to be respectful to all people and to always say please and thank you. Provided that is how they are themselves, I don’t believe you can be one person in private and one at work.


Please and thank you, for example.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t really fit into one category of parenting style. I like to think that I am pretty laid back and progressive, but then I find myself really valuing some traditional values and one of my biggest pet peeves are kids that are rude and don’t know how not to be. I’m not talking about less than perfect, I mean kids who act inappropriately towards others. This is maybe a can of worms and might vary a lot between cultures, we are famously a mix culture family who mixes and matches, but this is where the person you choose as a nanny comes in.


Your nanny is probably going to be spending a lot of time with your children, so you want to make sure that they teach your children the values that you promote as a family. This is a great opportunity and potentially really good news.


When you have a good fit with your nanny, she or he will be an essential part of your child’s education and they learn how to navigate socially based on the cues you give them, but also the day to day, minute to minute things their nanny teaches them.


So if your nanny is adamant about pleases and thank you’s, your child might be too, and if you think about how being kind and considerate sets you up for success, the choice of person who is part of your parenting team becomes bigger.


I know one family where the little girl has grown up with the nanny as the primary caretaker, a highly educated, very focused nanny and this girl is the most well rounded, empathetic and polite child you will ever meet. She could have been spoiled and entitled, but she is not, thanks to being raised by an amazing nanny. That’s a good example of both good parenting and nannying, a team working together to give the kid the best it can have.


And your nanny is good for teaching all kinds of things.




Like Tying our shoes, literally and metaphorically.


When I was a kid I had the fastest and coolest shoes. I don’t remember the brand, I think it was “Lejon’”but they were light blue, had white stripes and velcro binding. I was the first one out on the playground at recess. Probably because I didn’t have to tie my shoes. (I went to school in Sweden where we take our shoes off inside.)


My dad always loved technology and novelties. In Sweden in the early 1980s velcro shoes were very new and cool and hip. So were digital watches. So even though my dad meant the best for me when he got me those cool gadgets, I didn’t learn to tie my shoes or read time until I was a bit older. I did have a cool watch though, from Donald Duck, my favorite character.


There are so many big and small gestures, much smaller than tying your shoes or reading time that our kids are learning every day. The person spending time with them is going to be their guide learning a lot of these things, like holding a pen, gross and fine motor skills, recognizing the nuance of colors and shapes, seeing relationships between objects, and navigating different surfaces. Every little thing they meet and experience each day is an opportunity to learn and relate. You want the person next to your child to be tuned in and conscious of that.


Your nanny will help develop your kids gross and fine motor skills.
Like Holding that pen


Children are naturally creative, I find that observing my kids make things, tell stories around their creations and getting to experience their world through their play and creativity is a way of getting to know them in a very deep and meaningful way. Drawing, painting, mark making in general is such an important and fun part of their development, from learning to hold and handle a pen, to the brain-hand connection that helps them process their stories and information in a way a tablet doesn’t, is significant. The time, the patience, the slow pace it takes to master skills like this is often overlooked but is essential.


One of the things I am personally really fascinated by, both for myself and my family, but also for work, is neuroplasticity. It is how our thoughts, actions, experiences and relationships physically change our brains, and the way we think.  How our brains can be rewired and our triggers and reactions changed. I am so interested and inspired by relationships between people, energies and objects and I think it’s pretty amazing how we throughout our lives can rewire our brains. Imagine the possibilities. Imagine exercising and strengthening the connections that make the pathways in our brains.


I have a friend that I love very much. Her name is Cara and she is a visual communicator and facilitator, and she told me something that I really loved. When you work visually, like doodle or draw something, or express yourself visually, your brain lights up in a completely different way than if you are just reading, or listening to something. And you process information more efficiently if you are doodling while listening, did you know that? I didn’t, but I like it. That is one reason that we ask our families to incorporate a visual element at the end of the client intake when hiring a nanny, through your drawing or making of the avatar we get a lot of information about who you are and what you like, in a way we don’t with a questionnaire.


Allowing space for creativity and visual thinking makes better results because it goes deeper. For both children and adults.


Thank you so much for listening and spending some time with me today.


If you have any comments on today’s episode, if you would like to ask any questions or if you just want to say hi, you can always email me at hello@rivieranannies.fr and put podcast in the subject line. I love hearing from you :)


Today’s episode is brought to you by Mamatoto, the place where mothers go for education, support and connection. It’s a great place to learn about prenatal nutrition, take courses to prepare for pregnancy and birth and find support into motherhood. Check them out at mamatoto.info


I will see you next week when we will be talking about ending a job. Until then, be safe and awesome. Bye :)

​I want an ugly nanny




Welcome to the Nanny Podcast, I am so happy you are here.


Today I am going to tell you about a request we have gotten in different variations that always leave me with more questions and feelings than others might.




The request is, I want an ugly nanny. First of all, we do not have any ugly nannies. I have met very few ugly people in my life, it’s hard for me to even think of someone ugly, and this is about to get a little personal, so be warned. You know how we say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder? What does categorizing people as ugly or not ugly say about you?


I am guessing that the people asking for ugly nannies have a few things going on, first they have decided what is visually appealing in a person, my guess is that they don’t know or understand a lot about personality or charisma, which is what most people are ultimately attracted to, but they base their judgement on a person’s physique, facial features and grooming habits, maybe? If they met me what would they think? Their ugly algorithm would probably put me in the ugly category.




The other thing they have going on, apart from judging people around them based on their parameters of beauty is a level of insecurity that makes me feel sad. I’m going to tell you a personal story about a nanny, my husband and a very insecure wife who heard the story.


A few years ago we had a nanny do a trial with us, she didn’t last long, one of the reasons you will find out about in a minute, but that was really the smallest of the reasons, she was not good with kids and didn’t have honest intentions, her flirting with my partner was mostly funny. So I come home from a meeting, my husband and I both work from home. I hear her fake laughing in the dining room where my husband is having lunch and I know him so I knew how uncomfortable that makes him. He gave me the “help me” look as he sneaked out when I came. She would ask him for computer help and have lingerie pages open when he came to her screen, make inappropriate comments and be very flirty with him. I didn’t like it, but it was really my husband who was most uncomfortable with it. A nanny who does that by the way will get fired, at some point. And nannies with this kind of intentions will net get through our screening process, it is very obvious to us what your intentions are, so don’t even.


So I was telling the stories to some friends at a party and one of the moms gasped and was worried for me that he would leave with her. To me, being in a respectful and loving relationship that was not even on my radar, and also, if he wanted to be with her, I am very obviously not a good fit for him and he should leave. So she said “but you don’t want him to leave you do you”. Of course not, but he is not my prisoner. And we love each other and have chosen to live together, and most of all trust each other, other people flirting with us is most of the time not a problem. And I do not want to be my partner’s prison warden. So I think that families who ask for ugly nannies are more like the gasping mom who worries that her partner will leave, and less trusting, that’s my guess.


And of course the nanny who was doing the trial with us was not professional, honest or a person you would want to work with or have take care of your children, but it is a bummer that the assumption that an attractive nanny will try to get in someone’s pants first chance she gets, and it’s sad to think that a partner in a committed relationship would fall for it.


The nannies we work with are professionals, and even though there are people in many industries who rely on their sexuality to get ahead, I have personally been more bothered by the hair flicking woman in the short skirt at my partner’s software company than our flirting nanny, when you know serious nannies you know that it is not a stereotype in the profession.


So you might be asking yourself, but Hanna, affairs between dads and nannies happen, so how do we avoid them?


The times we see it in the tabloids, I don’t think it has much to do with it being a nanny and a dad. I think it’s people who connect and for whatever reasons end up filling a need in each other, it might be a lack of affection, communication or connection. Why do people cheat? There are lots of reasons and lots of research done on the subject, I think most of the time it is when something is unfulfilled in them, I don’t think it has anything to do with their partner, it’s a personal problem and it won’t be fixed by hiring an ugly nanny, just like avoiding a bar does not cure an alcoholic, setting up an obstacle course to make it harder to cheat or drink is a short term solution. What you might want to ask yourself is why you feel like that and talk to your partner about your insecurities, and heal that insecurity instead of insulating your bubble with judgements about other people and making sure your partner sees less pretty by hiring people you find ugly to surround you.


There is so much beauty and awesomeness. Don’t seek out the ugly.


Thank you for spending some time with me today. Head over to Instagram and follow us @rivieranannies and let us know what you want me to talk about next :)

​Welcome to the Nanny Podcast, I’m Hanna from Riviera Nannies, I am so happy you are here today.


Today I wanted to talk about a complaint that I sometimes see from families, that their nanny is always sick.


I think there are two ways to see and talk about this.


First, is your nanny ok? Is she getting sick from your kid and is she ok? Is she really sick or is she not happy coming to work? For most issues, talking about it and having good communication with your nanny will resolve a lot of problems, so first, talk to her. What is going on with her?


I know how frustrating it can be as a family when you depend on your nanny for your work and to make sure that your kids are well taken care of. There is so much guilt and feelings of not being enough as a parent anyhow, you have hired a nanny because you want your kids taken care of, and now she is not there as consistently as you need. How can you support yourself and your nanny for this to work?


Talk to her. Ask her if there is anything she needs? You get the idea, see her and talk to her. Maybe tell her about how you stay away from germs situations or support yourself during flu season.


The other thing is of course, is it your kid passing germs to her that makes her always sick? Kids have germs and they often make their caretakers sick. There are lots of things to do to prevent it like eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, taking your supplements of vitamins, minerals and probiotics, and of course, washing your hands and having good hygiene, but sometimes when the kids are sick a lot, whoever is close to them will be too. So what do you do then?


Most families realize this and gives the nanny time to recover, which benefits everyone of course. Legal requirements are different in different countries, we are just talking about the ethical requirements that all employment should have in my opinion. It does not benefit anyone if your nanny is working when she is sick. In some cases maybe look over routines to make sure you eliminate some ways germs might spread. This requires good communication and listening skills on both sides, if someone gets defensive it won’t work. Approach it with kindness and without judgement. We have routines in our house depending on what kind of bugs the kids have to make sure they spread as little as possible. Knock on wood it works most of the time.


The thing to make sure though, as a nanny is that you eat well. Cut out sugar and processed foods. Eat whole foods, take your vitamins, minerals and probiotics. Get your vitamin D levels checked. Move your body, take care of yourself. And get enough sleep. And if you are a family that struggles with a nanny being away a lot, talk to her, and express your desire that she is healthy.


Thank you for spending some time with me today.


Today’s episode is brought to you by Mamatoto, the community for moms through pregnancy and birth and into motherhood. Go to Mamatoto.info to join the club.


Go over to Instagram and follow us @rivieranannies where we post all kinds of nanny things. See you next time :)

​D is one of our nannies, she is wonderful, kind and experienced. 
In this episode she shares her story in nannying with us. 
Enjoy :)